Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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