I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
