Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
