i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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