I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Where are you guys?
Drunk
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
