People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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