Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
