Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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