so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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