he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize