I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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