I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
