So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize