evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
