I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
