her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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