So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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