I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
