3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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