Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
