I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
