The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
