He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize