Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
