how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize