I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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