Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
