I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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