We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
