I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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