Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
