Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
