but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize