I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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