New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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