Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
