____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
