Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
