i wish there were pregnant emoticons
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
