Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
