Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
