We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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