girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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