1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize