Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize