My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
