Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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