I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
