Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
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After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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