It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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