You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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