also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
