me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
