everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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