I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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