Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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