Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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