I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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