If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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