i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
