she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
