why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
as a side note pls kill me
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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