Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
