somebody snuck up and got me drunk
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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