I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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