Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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