just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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