i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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