I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
