Say something about gay babies.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
